Hotel Artemis

Jodie Foster! Jeff Goldblum! Also: Dave Bautista, Sterling K. Brown, Sofia Boutella, Jenny Slate, Zachary Quinto, Charlie Day!

I wasn’t sure what this film was going to actually be. I had seen the trailers that indicated the movie was about an exclusive, near-future Los Angeles hospital for criminals. There are the typical ten-years-from-now-technology-will-be-amazing plot points, and the story rides on the current vibe that the wealthy of the world will take advantage of the poor, to the point where the water supply in Southern California is privatized (isn’t it already, though?) and the population riots in response to high prices and limited availability. The riots make up the backdrop of this gritty, dirty Los Angeles where somehow Jeff Goldblum is the crime boss (“The Wolf King of L.A.”) — a crime lord who wears Gucci dress sandals.

Jodie Foster is the Nurse who runs the Hotel Artemis, where criminals and wealthy VIPs pay large amounts of money for membership to provide immediate medical treatment for any issues they may have, including 3D-printing of organs. There are Rules of Membership (“do not kill the other patients”, “no weapons allowed”) that are strictly followed until they’re not, and the Nurse has a backstory that explains her gripping anxiety and inability to leave the confines of the hotel. Dave Bautista plays the Orderly, “Everest,” who uses her agoraphobia for a little comic relief, until she overcomes it briefly to save an injured police officer who turns up at the alley door. This violates another Rule of the Hotel Artemis: No Cops.

A confrontation occurs later when a weapons dealer (Day), an assassin (Boutella), a former gangster (Brown) and the Wolf King all meet up during the height of the riot. Oh, and the former gangster was in the middle of a bank holdup with his brother who accidentally stole a pen-vault thingy from a guy wearing a suit (who looks a lot like Jason Statham) that contains six Uber-rare yellow diamonds that happen to belong to the Wolf King…

The plot is not quite as convoluted as my description makes it sound, and the film is enjoyable overall.


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